


Satisfaction

by Robin Hood (kjack89)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Sexual Situations, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:29:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/Robin%20Hood
Summary: Carisi winced. “It was great for me. Barba, uh, Barba didn’t exactly, uh, get his satisfaction. If you know what I mean.”“He didn’t come,” Amanda said.Carisi waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, that. And afterwards, I thought everything was fine, but then this morning, he took off super early using the excuse that he had an early meeting and I’m pretty sure he’s just avoiding me, and—” He broke off, looking miserable. “I mean, look, I’m an attentive lover and I do not leave people unsatisfied, if you know what—”“You give your partners orgasms,” Amanda said. “I get it, we’re not in high school, you can use your big boy words.”





	Satisfaction

**Author's Note:**

> Just an amusing little thing that popped in my head.
> 
> Usual disclaimer. Please be kind and tip your fanfic writers in the form of comments and/or kudos!

“Carisi!”

Carisi blinked up at Amanda, who looked torn between amusement and exasperation and had clearly been trying to get his attention for a while. “Oh, uh, sorry,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Didn’t get a lotta sleep last night.”

Amanda gave him a look. “Yeah, I know,” she said, sitting down at her desk.

Carisi’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean, you know?”

Amanda arched an eyebrow at him. “You’re wearing your ‘just got laid’ tie,” she said, as if the answer was obvious.

“My—what?” Carisi asked, startled, and he glanced down at the tie he was wearing. “I don’t have a ‘just got laid’ tie.”

Before Amanda could respond — before, judging by the smirk on her face, she could tell him otherwise — FIn emerged from the break room, stirring a cup of coffee, and he grinned when he saw Carisi. “Damn, looks like someone got lucky,” he said with a chuckle.

Carisi looked baffled. “How—” he started, but Fin just waved a dismissive hand.

“It’s the tie, man.”

Carisi stared wildly between Fin and Amanda, who took pity on him by changing the subject. “Anyway, while you may be wearing your ‘just got laid’ tie, what you’re not wearing is your usual ‘just got laid’ glow.”

Carisi scowled. “I _definitely_ don’t have a ‘just got laid’ glow,” he muttered mutinously.

“Well you certainly don’t today,” Amanda shot back. “So why not? What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Carisi muttered, and when Amanda just raised an eyebrow, he sighed and relented, “Nothing that I can talk about here at least.”

Amanda nodded and stood. “Coffee?” she offered.

“Sure,” Carisi said, grabbing his coat.

“Don’t mind me,” Fin said dryly. “I’ll just stay here and hold down the entire unit by myself, no problem.”

“Yeah, thanks Sarge,” Carisi said absently, and Fin rolled his eyes.

“Better hope getting laid was worth it for the ass whooping I’m gonna give him when he gets back,” he grumbled, bending over the stack of paperwork on his desk.

* * *

 

“So…” Amanda prompted, handing Carisi his cup of coffee and looking at him expectantly.

Carisi sighed and jerked his head towards a small table near the window. “Ok, but you can’t tell anyone about this,” he said as they sat.

“Not even Jesse?” Amanda asked innocently, barely able to keep a straight face.

Carisi gave her a look. “Considering we’re talking about my sex life, I’d hope you’re not discussing it with your preschooler.”

“Fair enough,” Amanda said with a laugh, but Carisi didn’t even crack a grin and her smile faded. “Hey, it’s ok,” she said, leaning forward to rest a hand lightly on his wrist. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

“It’s Barba.”

Amanda blinked. “What do you mean, it’s Barba?” she asked blankly. “Like, he’s going to be jealous, or…?”

Carisi sighed and ran a hand across his face. “No, I mean...It’s Barba.”

“Oh,” Amanda said, comprehension dawning. “ _Oh_. Well, shit, finally.”

Carisi glared at her. “See, this is why I don’t wanna tell you anything,” he said. “I knew you were gonna be like this.”

“Be like what?” Amanda asked defensively. “Supportive of my best friend for finally getting with the guy he’s been in love with for the better half of a decade now?”

Carisi scowled. “I was gonna say gloating.”

Amanda just smirked. “So you had sex with Barba,” she said, sipping her coffee. “How was it?”

“Would you keep your voice down?” Carisi hissed, glancing around.

Amanda gave him a look. “Sonny, we’re in a café in Manhattan. There is literally no one in here who is either listening to our conversation or who gives a shit that you fucked Barba.” She paused and took another sip of coffee. “Or he fucked you, I neither know nor particularly care which way you two do things.”

Carisi’s face flushed a mottled shade of red and he tried to disguise it by taking too large a swig of coffee and promptly spilling on himself. “Shit,” he groaned, grabbing a napkin and dabbing at his shirt.

Amanda watched with something almost like pity in her expression. “So how was it?” she repeated when he gave up trying to blot the coffee stain.

“It was, uh…”

He trailed off, his face darkening even more and Amanda winced. “That bad, huh?”

“No!” Carisi snapped. “No. It was great. Or at least…” He winced. “It was great for me. Barba, uh, Barba didn’t exactly, uh, get his satisfaction. If you know what I mean.”

“He didn’t come,” Amanda said.

Carisi waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, that. And afterwards, I thought everything was fine, but then this morning, he took off super early using the excuse that he had an early meeting and I’m pretty sure he’s just avoiding me, and—” He broke off, looking miserable. “I mean, look, I’m an attentive lover and I do not leave people unsatisfied, if you know what—”

“You give your partners orgasms,” Amanda said. “I get it, we’re not in high school, you can use your big boy words.”

Carisi glared at her. “So what am I supposed to do?”

Amanda sighed. “Well, have you considered the possibility that Barba actually had an early morning meeting that he had to get to?”

“Yeah, I’ve considered it. But he told me his early morning meeting was with Buchanan,” Carisi told her darkly.

Amanda whistled under her breath. “Yeah, that’s pretty telling of how you were in the sack if the best excuse he could come up with was Buchanan instead of going for round two.”

“Thanks,” Carisi groaned. “That’s so reassuring.” He glanced hopefully at Amanda. “Any advice?”

Amanda considered it for a moment. “Get back on the horse and try it again,” she said.

Carisi sighed. “That’s what I was afraid you were gonna say.”

* * *

 

“You got a minute?”

Barba glanced up at Carisi without setting down the casefile he was flipping through, his feet propped up on his desk. “Maybe,” he said cautiously, “but I have a feeling whatever you’re after is going to take longer than a minute.”

“It’s about last night,” Carisi told him, and Barba’s expression darkened, just slightly.

“Close the door behind you,” he said, and when Carisi did, he sighed. “It must be serious if you’re not even willing to make a joke about me ordering you around.”

Carisi hovered awkwardly near the doorway, his hands in his pockets. “It’s not serious,” he protested. “It’s just…”

He trailed off and Barba sighed, tossing the casefile on his desk and sitting up straight. “Whatever it is, Detective, spit it out.”

“I don’t normally do that,” Carisi blurted.

Something tightened in Barba’s expression. “What, have sex with men?” he asked dryly, shuffling the papers around on his desk as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to meet Carisi’s eyes.

Carisi blinked. “What? No.” He paused. “I mean I don’t have sex with men, y’know, often, but that’s just because I’m always working.”

Barba visibly relaxed, even managing a chuckle. “Well, I know something about that,” he said, but Carisi’s brow furrowed.

“What did you think I was gonna say?”

Barba cleared his throat. “I just assumed this was the part where you told me that last night was fun, but...”

He trailed off and Carisi winced. “That, uh, that happen to you a lot?”

“Often enough for it to be a concern,” Barba said evenly. “A hazard of the field we work in.”

“Or the guys you choose to sleep with,” Carisi said bluntly.

Barba’s smile sharpened. “That too.” Carisi snorted, finally moving away from the doorway to sit across from Barba, who leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “So, if not the sex with men thing, what do you not normally do?”

Carisi flushed and shrugged. “I, uh — well, I guess it’s more something that I _do_ normally do and, um, didn’t. Last night. To you.”

“I am fascinated to hear where this is going,” Barba said mildly.

Carisi’s flush deepened. “I know that, uh, when we were, um, you know, you weren’t exactly, uh…” He trailed off and glared at Barba, who was barely containing his smirk. “Are you really gonna make me spell it out for you?”

Barba held up his hands defensively. “Unfortunately, yes, because I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I didn’t make you come.”

Barba’s smirk disappeared. “What?” he said, a little weakly.

Carisi determinedly avoided looking at Barba. “Last night when we were having sex, I came. You didn’t.”

“Oh, God,” Barba said faintly, but Carisi ignored him, barreling onward.

“And, I mean, I know we didn’t, uh, plan it so it’s not like I was able to break out my best moves or anything, but if...I dunno, if it’s something I did or didn’t do, I’m sorry, and—” He broke off when Barba let out a slightly strangled noise, finally looking at him. “What?”

Barba sighed heavily, staring down at his desk as if it was the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen in his life. “I did.”

Carisi stared blankly at him. “You did what?”

“I did come,” Barba said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“When?” Carisi demanded. “It wasn’t when I was, uh—”

“No, it wasn’t when you were balls-deep in my ass, thank you for making me spell that out for you, Detective,” Barba snapped. “It was, uh…” He trailed off and cleared his throat, the tips of his ears burning red. “Before that.”

“When?” Carisi repeated, more confused than anything this time. “What, did you jack off when I was taking a leak in the bathroom, or—?”

Barba glared at him. “Thank you for that image. And they say romance is dead.”

“Then when?” Carisi asked, filing the comment about romance away for a better time.

“When we first got back to your apartment,” Barba snapped. “Happy?”

“When we…” Carisi’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What, when we were making out against the door?”

Barba gritted his teeth. “As much as it pains me to admit that I came in my pants while making out with you like a teenager, yes.” Carisi opened his mouth but no words came out, and Barba ground his teeth together even harder. “And it equally pains me to admit that I’m not as young as I used to be and I needed more time to...recover.”

He cleared his throat and busied himself by again shifting papers around on his desk. “So if it’s reassurance you’re after, no need for concern. You were — that is to say, I, uh—“ Barba paused, clearly searching for the least awkward thing to say. “I enjoyed myself last night,” he finished, somewhat delicately.

“Oh.”

Barba glanced at Carisi. “Is that all you’re going to say?”

Carisi shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “Not sure I have anything to say to that.”

Barba eyed him warily. “Why do you look so smug?” he asked, and when Carisi just shrugged again, a smile threatening at the corners of his mouth, Barba rolled his eyes. “Oh, _God_ , this wasn’t a sign of your _prowess_ , Detective. Just a sign that I clearly need to get laid more often.”

"Well," Carisi said, still looking just this side of smug and self-satisfied, "that can be arranged."

“You wish,” Barba muttered sourly.

Carisi shrugged unconcernedly. “I mean, I’d like a chance to show you what I can do to you when you don’t have your pants on.”

Barba sighed. “If we continue with this,” he said, “and let’s keep in mind that at this point, that’s a very big if, we’re going to need to work on your dirty talk.”

Carisi laughed. “That can be arranged, too,” he said, and while Barba rolled his eyes again, he also managed a small smile.

“Good,” he said, his tone turning almost businesslike. “Now, are you going to come over here and kiss me like I’ve spent most of the morning hoping you would do when you inevitably showed up at my office unannounced?”

Carisi hesitated. “That depends,” he hedged.

Barba scowled. “On what?”

“You gonna come in your pants again?”

Barba let out a wounded noise that might have been half a groan and half a laugh. “You’re not going to let this go anytime soon, are you?”

Carisi smirked. “I wouldn’t bet on it, no.” He crossed over to Barba nonetheless and cupped his cheek gently, searching his eyes for a moment before dropping a relatively chaste kiss onto his lips. “Just so we’re clear,” he asked quietly, “when you said you had to leave this morning for an early meeting with Buchanan—”

“I actually had to leave for an early meeting with Buchanan,” Barba finished. “I scheduled a meeting at 8, knowing he was supposed to be catching a flight from JFK at 10. Needless to say, he didn’t make his flight.”

“That’s cruel,” Carisi said, but he was grinning.

“Yeah, but it was worth it,” Barba said, kissing Carisi once more. “That being said, I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow morning.”

Carisi’s grin softened. “So we can get at least two rounds in?” he asked.

Barba rolled his eyes. “I’d settle for one complete round first,” he said. “Beyond that seems a bit premature to think about.”

“Well, you’d know about premature, so…”

Barba scowled. “I hate you,” he said.

Carisi kissed him once more. “I know,” he said. “So I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yes,” Barba said with a sigh, though he was half-smiling as he watched Carisi slowly back away towards the door. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Carisi grinned and turned to open the door, pausing when he heard Barba say, “Oh, and Detective?”

“Yeah?” Carisi said, half-turning to glance back at him.

Barba smirked. “There won’t be an early ending for either of us tonight. Trust me on that.”

Carisi’s eyes darkened at the thought. “I’m holding you to that, you know.”

“Good,” Barba said, leaning back in his chair and putting a pen in his mouth and sucking on the end of it in a way that could not have been even remotely accidental.

Carisi swallowed, hard, well-aware that his slacks were now suspiciously tight. “Right,” he said, slightly more breathy than usual. “So I’m just gonna—“

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder and Barba glanced over at him, amused. “You might want to take care of that first,” he said mildly, pulling the pen out of his mouth with a wet pop and looking pointedly at Carisi's crotch.

Carisi flushed. “Why—?” he started, sounding a little pained, and Barba smirked.

“Just demonstrating what sexual prowess actually looks like before you get any ideas in your head.”

He stood, smoothing the completely unwrinkled front of his suit and made his way leisurely over to where Carisi seemed rooted to the spot. He leaned in and kissed Carisi lightly, biting down just slightly on his lower lip in a way that made Carisi let out a muffled moan before reaching out to pull Barba closer.

Then, abruptly, Barba pulled away, smirk back in place. “See you tonight, Detective,” he said in a low voice before brushing past him and leaving Carisi alone in his office with a very noticeable hard-on.

Carisi groaned and let his head fall back against the wall. “Touché,” he muttered with a light laugh, already thinking of all the things he was going to do that night to make Barba pay.


End file.
